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Today's News 01-02-23



IN POLITICAL NEWS

1) The whole Patriot Day (J6) Op was organized and staged by Botoxic, who refused security, organized a film crew, and set the whole thing up. Just wait: it will be proven she coordinated with the FascistBI and our little terrorist pal Ray Epps to agitate the crowd.

-This evil witch cannot pay enough.


2) A criminology student, Bryan Kohberger, was arrested for the murders of the Idaho students. The family of one girl says that his daughter had “connections” with the murderer.

3) The death of American ambition as staff at blue chip firms are refusing to work weekends and demanding raises for extra work.

4) A study suggests that medical errors (China Virus vax, anyone?) are the third largest cause of death in the U.S. (10%). Just wait until they finally begin to correctly assign China Virus Vax deaths to “medical error.”

5) The Constitution says precisely the opposite: Senator Ben Cardin said that those who “espouse hate” are not protected under the First Amendment. Er, Skokie, anyone?

6) Unlike 2017, an army of policy Trumpers awaits a new Republican president in 2025.

7) How a non-profit bail fund frees violent criminals: it considers “gender status” but not a criminal record.

8) Sad. An American Airlines baggage handler was killed when he was sucked into a plane’s engine as it was parked at the gate.

9) Finally, the story is told: A member of the team who captured Saddam Hussein related that the Iraqi dictator had a gun in his hand when they dragged him from his hole, so “a big Texan nails him in the mouth.” You know, resisting arrest.

-Former President George W. Bush is said to now have the Glock.

10) This GOP Spoogeblossom governor said that Patriot Day (J6) should disqualify President Trump from holding office. Now, little analpickle, Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ inauguration will disqualify you from office.

These people are useless toadblisters.


IN ECONOMIC NEWS

11) Solana, another crypto, rapidly collapsing ($50 billion in value gone in last year).

12) The year 2022 had the worst combined stock and bond returns since 1871.

13) U.S. housing’s growth index slipped to its lowest level since the 1982 and 2008 recessions.

14) Exxon-Mobil has sued the EU on whether its new “windfall profits” tax is actually a tax.

15) The economist for the Bank of Amigo said that 2023 would be a “difficult” year for Americans due to the economy.

Pssst. toejam sniffer: 2022 was a hellacious year as well.


IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

16) Shades of Matthew McConaughey in “Wolf of Wall Street”: a Cyprus adult website company has installed four pods for employees to masturbate in.

17) Prince Andrew’s sex accuser Virginia Giuffre will be freed from the gagging clause and can discuss Jeffrey (He didn’t kill himself) Epstein as well.

18) Reports say that Hezbollah leader Nasrallah has suffered a stroke.

-Was he vaxxed?

19) Well, this is good. BlackRock is attempting to buy Ukraine. Better them than us.


20) Socialists want to arrest Brazilian president Bolsonaro for warning about the China Virus vax risks.


21) Beauty queen and anti-woke journalist Sameera Khan claims the Tolly-ban is “worried” about Andrew Tate and wants the influencer freed because “Westerners are oppressed by feminists.” – 1) Yes, She is absolutely a beauty queen. 2) Yes, yes westerners are oppressed by feminazis.

22) Another crushing tragedy as nine people were killed at a crush in a Ugandan mall after revelers got trapped in a corridor.

23) China looking to build a base on the moon. According to some of our more spoogie-brained friends, they’d be the first to land there.

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

24) 2022 was a really bad year for Netflix, whose stock has dropped 50% since 2021. Its new lead show, “Witcher,” had a terrible season 2 in “Blood Origin” as it departed totally from the original material. Netflix also lost Henry Cavill.


25) The North Carolina State University announcer Gary Hahn was suspended for saying, during the game at the Mayo Bowl in El Paso, that they were “down among all the illegal aliens.”

-True dat, Gary.

26) Barbara Walters died at age 93.

27) Occasional Cortex’s box office disaster: her loser wanna-be film generated only $80 a theater. Heck, my 2010 “Rockin’ the Wall” documentary did better than that.

28) Anita Pointer of the Pointer Sisters dead at 74.

-And yes, I have a story. My band “Rampage” was, for some reason, invited up to the Pointer Sisters’ pad in LA. I do not recall meeting Anita there, but I met her sister Bonnie. Great music.

IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS

29) The Huns have unleashed a “spike protein bombshell” that the Pfizer vaxxes were never safe and never were shown to be.

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