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TODAY'S NEWS, April 9, 2024

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow


1) Wait, so contrails are real? Groomer City is shooting aerosols into the skies to increase cloud cover. The Baal-level evil of these people cannot be overstated.

2) The Deep State is preparing for a Trump victory by trying to cement gubment jobs for spoogemongers. Won't work.

3) A New York grand jury issued a scathing report on the state's child protection services. What services? Rutabaga is letting in thousands of illegal children PER DAY to be trafficked.

4) New York Yankees legend Mariano Rivera endorsed President Trump.

6) The Hill warns that it's "beginning to look a lot like 2016." Wrong. President Trump's victory will dwarf 2016.

7) Rutabaga lied again, after apologizing for the lie earlier in his stellar career.

8) A text message from the corrupt, vile, and brain-spooged Fat Fani Willis's office shows an investigator hitting on a witness.

9) As if anyone doubted it, Florida is no longer a swing state with a 900,000 GOP lead. Ohio hasn't been a swing state since 2015. North Carolina really isn't either. We are down to Nevada, New Mexico, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Maine, Minnesota, and Wisconsin as true swing states, all moving R.

10) The FascistBI and the Department of INJustice continue to arrest people for Patriot Day (J6) with over 1,400 arrested so far. Every single so called "law enforcement" person in on this travesty should themselves be behind bars.


11) Cool. A Texas lawmaker will run a full page ad in the New York Slimes urging police to move to Texas due to the illegal criminal alien crime wave.


12) Shocked, I tell ya. Fewer Americans want to buy EVs.

13) And you knew this was coming: New Jersey is now going to impose an EV tax because a) owners aren't paying gas taxes and b) EVs due to their weight chew up the roads more.


14) Brazil's "Darth Vader" is going after Elon Musk after he refused the nation's subpoena. Screw it Elon. Just buy the damned country.

15) Hamas murderers have not released any hostages as per their agreement, thus leaving no other conclusion but that they are dead.

16) And you wonder why some of these scab-ridden brain-divestment countries are po. Ethiopia, one of the poorest countries in the world just banned imports of non-EVs. So now all the technicals will have to be electric? What happens when you run out of a charge attacking the U.S. compound?

17) The Brit foreign secretary David Cameron flew to Mar-a-Lago to meet the real President and to beg for more Uke money.

18) Meanwhile the Swiss are yodeling their way into obscurity with a court ruling that Switzerland didn't do enough to protect human rights under assault from global warming.

19) Inside the town that banned cell phones for those under 12.


21) Non woke, simple action movies still make money, as "Godzilla x Kong" reached #1, while the woke "Magical Society of Magical Negroes" was dumped by theaters. How bad is it? It only made $1 million in its opening weekend at $2.4 million against a $15 million budget plus marketing.

22) The biggest collection of airheads in history, "The View" admonished us that the SOLAR (get it? the SUN?) eclipse was due to "climate change."


23) In the "gift that keeps on giving," now the CDC has found a link between the vax and tinnitus.


24) A United Airlines flight was diverted after a dog pooped in the first class aisle. Stupid dog. It should have known to use coach. But imagine if you had a "therapy pony."

Larry Schweikart

Rock drummer, Film maker,NYTimes #1 bestselling author

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