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TODAY'S NEWS, FEBRUARY 9, 2024

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow



IN POLITICAL NEWS


1) The Hoax News media appeared stunned to learn that Rutabaga has the brain function of a carpet. NBC called the Special Counsel report on Rutabaga's crime of holding classified documents while veep a "Nightmare Assessment."


2) The report found that Rutabaga is too old, demented, and brain dead that the Special Counsel can't charge him. By the way, by focusing on Rutabaga's absence of mental capability, the special counsel took ALL the emphasis off Rutabaga's obvious criminal behavior.


3) And of course, the special counsel found classified docs related to Ukraine in Rutabaga's illegal stash---remember he was not president at the time, unlike President Trump and was not permitted to handle these.


4) Rutabaga went on television in an angry rant. Yeah, that will help. "How the hell dare he mmmfsltufmeontsby." He also mixed up the leaders of Mexico and Egypt.


COMMENT: So the real question on everyone's mind is, "Is this setting the stage for them to remove Rutabaga? This question always seems relevant until you consider that Harris would be president. No DemoKKKrat, let alone any Republican other than maybe Minion or Linda Grahamnesty wants her to be president. Think of that. She is stupider than an octogenarian with dementia.


5) And right on cue, The Federalist finally says what I've said for two years. They can't replace Rutabagba because of Harris.


6) Spookespooge for the vile administration, Jeffrey ("Toobin Snake Boogie") Toobin says the only thing anyone will remember about Rutabaga's speech is his gaffe on Mexico. Well, that wouldn't make ordinary people any different than old Ruty, right? That is, having no memory?



8) President Trump soared to victory in the Nevada caucus. Per a text from Richard Baris, with a few votes still out, President Trump already beat the record for the most votes in a Nevada GOP caucus and also beat the primary vote of "none of the above." (Total so far is 59,545). A little repetitive but I love hearing AP say it: President Trump's win was "overwhelming."


9) President Trump also won the Muslim Paradise of the Virgin Islands last night.

10This had to give the Politico writers Hemorrhoids: "The Week Trump Seized Unmatched Control over the GOP." Psst. Politico chuckledusters: President Trump had total control of the GOP since January 2020 when the last election was stolen from him.



12) Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL) says it's time for the 25th Amendment. Just the opposite. Watch for them to rally around Rutabaga.


13) DemoKKKrats are definitely worried about RFK, Jr., as the DNC filed a complaint against him for "illegal coordination" through a Super PAC. This is rich. The most corrupt organization in American history, the DemoKKKrats---and that includes the Lucky Luciano mob family---files an ethics complaint.


14) Mark Steyn was found guilty of doing something to Michael (the liar) Mann, and was hit with a $1 million payment. One more reason the DC courts must be eradicated.


15) A Chinese-born researcher has been arrested for allegedly stealing the nuke launch code secrets for the ChiComs.


16) David Blackmon, the Rush Limbaugh of Energy, notes that now Climate Hoaxsterism portrays every piece of good news as bad. PS what we used to call a storm is now an "atmospheric river." These are the people who need to be locked up. On Uranus.


17) Idaho Republicans ousted their majority leader after "tension" in the budget process. So now, "tension" gets you fired?



IN ILLEGAL CRIMINAL ALIEN NEWS


19) Border patrol officers told the Congress to go have intercourse with themselves, and if they wanted to shut down the border it would be easy.


IN CULTURAL NEWS


20) Jennifer Sey continues her analysis of chronic absenteeism in schools, which is a "generational problem."


IN TRANSOID NEWS


21) Kansas leads the way in battling parental exclusion laws.


IN ECONOMIC NEWS


22) Credit card balances have exploded as people use them mostly now as a form of short term lending.


IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS


23) Tucker Carlson interviewed "Pootie-poot" who gave a wide-ranging review of Russian/Ukrainian history. Among other things, Putin said he asked to join NATO but was refused by Clinton; that the CIA blew up the Nord Stream pipeline (shocked) and that expanding beyond Ukraine is "out of the question."


24) While refusing to be specific, broadcaster Joe Buck said "something bad" is coming at the Super Bowl in Las Vegas.


25) Oh? So Disney wants Johnny Depp back for "Pirates 6?" Looks like Disney is not happy with the notion of a female replacement for Jack Sparrow. "YellowFlash" says he won't because they would have his character minimized, humiliated, and turned into a runner up to some woman.



IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS


26) As most of us have known for a while, the China Virus vax doesn't stop most China Virus variants.


AND FINALLY . . .


27) Well, this wouldn't be fun for anyone as a man died on a flight next to his wife with blood shooting out of his nose. Course, if you were the guy, married to Cankles or Ann Coulter, it was probably a great flight.







Larry Schweikart

Rock drummer, Film maker,NYTimes #1 bestselling author

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