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TODAY'S NEWS, January 31, 2024

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow


1) A former FascistBI agent said that his agency blocked a surveillance team from interviewing a suspect in the Patriot Day, J6 pipe bomb case. That's because the suspect was a FascistBI agent. He is confirmed as a "former government employee" and they have his license plate, but won't interview him. Meanwhile, grandmas who just walked through the foyer of the Capitol on Patriot Day are seeing jail time.

2) After trying to duck out of it, the Demented Pervert, the Rutabaga, will now attend a memorial service for the three dead soldiers from the Middle East attack. Outrage was high in this one.

3) Meanwhile, Rutabaga is beefing up air defenses on that base where "Tower 22" is.

4) Not happy with peace, Nick Knack Paddywhack Give a Uke a Bomb wants to assassinate Iranian leaders inside Iran. Actually, I don't disagree with this. Soleimani their butts. But be prepared it Iran escalates. I think I'd just do the old "ice bullet."

5) Illicit Mullah Omar (D-Mogadishu) has come under fire for saying "she is Somali first, Muslim second." She left out "spoogecracker" third.

6) The lazy "wise Latina," Justice Sonia Sotomayor, says her Supes work load is too heavy. Folks this court does less work than Lauran Sanchez on a superyacht. They could easily handle 3x the caseload.

7) Bridgeport, CT., already doing a do-over election due to fraud, is accused of . . . fraud in the new election.

8) Articles of Impeachment for Homeland Sec Alejandro Mayorkas advanced to the floor. Only about 2 years too late.

9) RFK, Jr. hints he may run as a Libertarian. That would be interesting since he wants to criminalize all anti "climate change" speech.

10) The utter embarrassment of the brain-dead, empty-skulled chowderpuppet that is the White House spokesspooge referred to the "brave" military personnel who "died for this administration." No you evil guppypumper, they died for the USA. No one will die for your fascist clown car.

11) School choice grows: now 10 states, and 36% of all kids now eligible for private school/homeschool funding.

13) Almost a full year after the East Palestine, OH train wreck that left toxic chemicals everywhere, Rutabaga is finally paying the region a visit. This garlic-groper is utterly stupid.

14) Not good. We WANT Enema on that wall, we NEED Enema (AZ Senator Kyrsten Sinema) on that wall so Lake can win. Enema's fundraising has dropped.

15) DeSoros's super PAC funneled money into an anti-Trump group. Shocked, I tell ya.

16) Botoxic, under siege from Palestinian protestors, pulled a Rutabaga and told them to "go back to China."

17) Six anti-abortion protestors look at up to 11 years in prison for protesting an abortion mill.

18) "Fair Fight," the election-denying op by Stacy (M1) Abrams, the Human Planet, has to lay off staff.

19) Three years after legalizing drugs, Ectopia (Portland) has cracked down on fentanyl use.


20) In a "horrifying" attack on two policemen in New Kabul NYC by illegal criminal aliens, suspects were later freed without bail. But of course they were.

21) For now, at least, Speaker Johnson heard the people. He rejected the border deal and said crossings must be zero. Agreed. But no amnesty for those criminals who already stole their way in.

22) The cartel in Phoenix is so brazen they post pics on Instagram and Tik Tok with them riding down the freeway sporting heavy duty machine guns.

23) All you union dimwits who endorse Rutabaga, WAKE UP. Now New Kabul (New York City) will hire 4,000 illegal criminal aliens with "relaxed" work requirements. This was the plan all along!

24) And it appears the illegal criminals ain't so poor as they let on: several of their pricey cars were towed in New Kabul right outside the area where they were begging. It's almost like the scene from "Don't be a Menace to South Central LA while Drinking Your Juice in the Hood."


25) Jennifer Sey points out that 15 million American students are chronically absent from school. Now, since these are mostly public schools, not sure I see the problem . . .


26) It turns out that so-called "conversion therapy" to keep people from becoming homosexuals or transoids does not increase the likelihood of suicide. In fact, new research suggests that it mitigates the risk of suicide.

27) After a Catholic U prof allowed in an "abortion doula," protests forced the school to fire the prof.


28) A Delaware judge says Elon Musk makes too much money from the company he created and vetoed his $55 billion pay package.

29) PayPal has laid off 2,500 after the CEO announced "a new chapter." Yeah, that doesn't include you. Remember PayPal was at the head of the China VIrus fascist parade in locking accounts of those supporting the Canadian truckers.


30) The Davos ducktwaddlers need solar and wind to expand by 50 to 100 times to meet their goofball goals.


32) Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, as Bollywood did a "Top Gun" knockoff called "Fighter" that grossed $25 million in its first weekend.

33) Chita Rivera, singer, dancer, and actress on Broadway, dead at 91.


34) A customer was charged $7.29 for a single Egg McMuffin. Well, maybe it came with presidential candidate McMuffin's autography? or could it be all the "free" non-food additives that are included? I mean, zinc and nickel ain't cheap.

Larry Schweikart

Rock drummer, Film maker,NYTimes #1 bestselling author

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